Total Abandonment

"You either belong wholly to the world or wholly to God."               
-Saint John Vianney 

       How dearly do you love Jesus? What would you give up for Him? How far would you go to show Him that you love Him?

       Recent life events have made me realize more than ever how little I am in control. Despite extensive precautions, I still get sick. I bare my heart and it gets broken. I try my best yet I fail. Still somehow, I have managed to hold on to my unrealistic ideals, my plans, my expectations. And when I have tried to discern God's will, what a difficult time I have had! Not because God is silent, but because I cannot let go of what I want. And I cannot let go because I cannot trust that what God has in store is what is best.

       What a hypocrite I am! I preach about God's unfailing love, His perfect plan for our lives, His endless mercy. Yet, when it comes to giving Him my vocation, my future, I have hesitated. I have been afraid. I have been afraid of surrendering my desires because I fear I will be unhappy. The image of a doting lover who desires great things for his beloved is replaced with an image of a thief who robs his victims of happiness. How far this is from the truth, yet how my heart has struggled to see past my fears and into the Sacred Heart!

"To love God as He ought to be loved, we must be detached from all temporal love. We must love nothing but Him, or if we love anything else, we must love it only for His sake."

-Saint Peter Claver

       One of my greatest prayers of late is to desire what Jesus desires- for my heart to be so united with His that they share one heartbeat. I want to desire only His plan. I want to show Him how deeply I love Him by giving Him my love through giving Him my life. Yet, desire alone is not enough. Sacrifices must be made. A true lover must be willing to give up his life for his beloved. 

       Jesus gave everything He was to us- He could have given nothing more. And because we are priceless treasures to Him, He wants to have all of us. When He looks upon us, He sees more of us than we see in ourselves. Even after recognizing the sin, the selfishness, the brokenness, He thirsts for you! 

        You see, the crucifixion is like a wedding vow. Jesus gave His total self out of love for you- for better or for worse. His vulnerability and complete gift of self are freely given; His love and commitment eternal. Tenderly he invites you into communion with Him.

The Invitation of Jesus 

       From the cross, Jesus beckons to you. His arms are spread wide to receive your embrace. Will you throw away whatever you are carrying to wrap your arms around Him and kiss the face that has suffered so much for love of you? Will you console the purest heart that has endured unfathomable rejection? Listen to Him speak to you as you stand at the foot of the cross. 

My Beloved,

How it delights my heart to have you come to me. I have been waiting patiently for you. Look at my bleeding wounds. Look into my eyes and see how it pains to me to love so deeply and yet be so rejected. My heart bleeds for love of you. How I love you, my greatest treasure! Surrender to my love. Allow yourself to be consumed with love. Abandon yourself to my love. Surrender to me all that you are and I will fill you with my Holy Spirit. I have chosen you, my beloved. You are priceless and precious to me. I love you.

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"Jesus Christ, Lord of all things! You see my heart, you know my desires. Possess all that I am - you alone." -Saint Agatha 

       I have learned that if I desire to belong fully to the Lord, I must abandon myself completely to Him. I must entrust to Him my dreams, my burdens, my guilt, my relationships, my fears- everything I cling to. It is only when I release them that I am able to receive more of Him. Nothing you give to Jesus will be in vain. True freedom comes in surrender, in letting go. Not only does it make you free, but it is a powerful act of love.

       Jesus is the perfect example of how abandoning yourself to God is difficult, painful, and requires great trust. It empties you of everything in order to be filled with God Himself!

       So many times we choose ourselves over Jesus. Yet every time we come running back, He is waiting for us, Him arms outstretched and ready to embrace us!

ACT OF CONSECRATION TO THE SACRED HEART OF JESUS

       TO You, most sacred Heart of Jesus, I devote my life. To You I consecrate all my thoughts, words, actions, and sufferings. My whole being shall be employed henceforth in loving, serving, and glorifying You. Be Thou, most blessed and adorable Heart, the sole object of my love, the protector of my life, the pledge of my salvation, and my secure refuge at the hour of my death. Be Thou my advocate at the throne of Divine Justice, and screen me from the wrath which my sins deserve.

      I trust entirely in your mercy. I place all my confidence in You. Destroy in me all that is displeasing to You. Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine. Imprint Thyself like a seal upon my heart in order that I may never be separated from You. May I be a victim forever consecrated to your glory - ever burning with the flames of your pure love in time and for eternity. This is my whole desire - to live, in You: This shall be my happiness, to live and die as your devoted servant. Sweet Heart of Jesus, I implore that I may love You more and more. Amen.