Several months ago, I knelt before the tabernacle in prayer. My heart was full of the desire to grow in love for my God and for His children.
Jesus, I want my capacity for love to grow. I want to be able to love you with all of my heart and to bring your love to my brothers and sisters. Help my heart to feel what you feel- to feel joy when you are joyful and to feel pain when you are suffering. I want to love you more, my God! I want to be a little vessel, carrying the love in your Sacred Heart to others!
I continued to pray earnestly for this gift. And as I prayed, Abba spoke to me reminding me of an important truth:
My Beloved Daughter,
It delights my heart to know of your desire to love me and others.
But while you grow in love for others,
you must also continue to grow in self love.
His words surprised me. Growing in self love wasn’t something I had much reflected on before. What did healthy self love even look like? When I think of someone loving himself/herself, a negative image comes to mind. I
picture Gastan (from Beauty and the Beast), a man who is always checking himself out in the mirror, believing there is no woman he could not win. Obviously, this is not true love and this is not what Jesus meant. But since I had a distorted idea of what healthy self love looked like, I wasn’t sure exactly what needed to change.
My Struggle with Self Love
"And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' " ~ Matthew 22:37-39
I have struggled with self love, especially as a teenager. I looked into the mirror and criticized what I saw. Everyday, I gave myself negative self talk and put myself down. And I believed what I said. I began to loathe my own person. Upon examining who I was, I saw everything but beauty and goodness.
In hating myself, I sinned against Jesus and myself. I rejected both Jesus and myself. I did not treat myself like the daughter of God that I was.
Loving yourself is a necessity! Why else would Abba make love of ourselves and others a commandment second only to loving Him with all of our hearts?
What does a holy self love look like?
A healthy self love is rooted in humility. Humility is the truthful acknowledgment of who we are- not more, not less. Because we are the Chosen of the Father, the sons and daughters of the King, we should live in such a way that reflects our identity. This entails respecting ourselves, as well as one another.
One thing I have observed is that the enemy loves to confuse us into thinking self love is selfish. That taking time for yourself- in essence, taking care of yourself- is wrong because you are taking time away from serving other people. Yet even Jesus encouraged the disciples to take time to rest and be rejuvenated!
"The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, 'Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.' For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves." ~ Mark 6:30-32
Loving yourself also means being able to say no to control and manipulation and surrounding yourself with healthy relationships. Choosing to love out of freedom and not from guilt is an important part of loving yourself as well as the people around you.
When we love ourselves as we ought, we see ourselves as priceless and we respect our own worth. And when we truly can look at ourselves and see the value of who we are, we are also better able to see the value in our brothers and sisters!
Jesus Heals
Loving yourself is a necessity! Why else would Abba make love of ourselves and others a commandment second only to loving Him with all of our hearts?
What does a holy self love look like?
A healthy self love is rooted in humility. Humility is the truthful acknowledgment of who we are- not more, not less. Because we are the Chosen of the Father, the sons and daughters of the King, we should live in such a way that reflects our identity. This entails respecting ourselves, as well as one another.
One thing I have observed is that the enemy loves to confuse us into thinking self love is selfish. That taking time for yourself- in essence, taking care of yourself- is wrong because you are taking time away from serving other people. Yet even Jesus encouraged the disciples to take time to rest and be rejuvenated!
"The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, 'Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.' For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves." ~ Mark 6:30-32
Loving yourself also means being able to say no to control and manipulation and surrounding yourself with healthy relationships. Choosing to love out of freedom and not from guilt is an important part of loving yourself as well as the people around you.
When we love ourselves as we ought, we see ourselves as priceless and we respect our own worth. And when we truly can look at ourselves and see the value of who we are, we are also better able to see the value in our brothers and sisters!
Jesus Heals
“Behold, I make all things new.” ~ Revelation 21:5
It is through the redeeming grace and love of God that I am more freely able to see myself and know that I am a treasure. From Jesus, I have slowly been receiving healing for my self image, learning how to accept myself and love myself, imperfections and all. My Father has unleashed His ocean of mercy upon me! Now I see myself and know that I am beautiful and loved perfectly. Praise God for His endless mercy!
During one of my more intense moments of healing, Jesus gave me a vision of Him holding me. He was beaming at me, pointing out different parts of my body and saying:
During one of my more intense moments of healing, Jesus gave me a vision of Him holding me. He was beaming at me, pointing out different parts of my body and saying:
"This is exactly how our Father wanted you.
He delights in how beautifully He has made you!"
Immediately a joy swelled up inside of me. I rejoiced in the careful detail of my Beloved Father. How much tenderness and joy He must have put into creating me!
Ways to Grow in Self Love
Forgive yourself. Go to Confession and then believe you have been forgiven. Refuse to hold on to guilt and shame. Believe that because God has extended limitless mercy to you and He also expects you to do the same to yourself.
Affirm yourself and graciously accept the affirmations of others. You are good. You are beautiful. You are enough. Where there is love, there is no room for condemnation. Many times, the Lord affirms us through the words of others. Accept words of affirmation others give to you and then give God the glory.
Be patient with yourself. You fail, you make the same mistakes over and over again. Yet, I challenge you to be as patient with yourself as our Heavenly Father is with you!
Take care of yourself. Eat healthfully and exercise. Get enough sleep. Take your medicine. If you are sick, go to a doctor! If you are struggling emotionally, see a counselor! Take time to pursue your dreams.
Speak and claim the truth over your life. Abba has provided us scripture full of the truth of who we are. Speak these words over your life. Ephesians 1:5; John 1:12; Romans 6:6; Genesis 1:27; Jeremiah 1:5; 1 Corinthians 12:27; 1 Peter 2:9
Look to the crucifix. Be reminded about how much you are worth! You are worth dying for. You have been ransomed through the ultimate sacrifice. Meditate on Jesus' gift of self to you.
Ask Jesus to show you what you look like through His eyes. This literally changed my life. The way our God sees us is so vastly different than how we see ourselves. We look at ourselves and see the sin, the evil, the imperfections. Jesus looks at us and sees the object of His love- His heart's desire. He wants to show you who you are and is waiting to be asked!
Today is Good Friday. What better reminder could there be of our Lord's intimate love for us? God's love is unveiled in a unbelievable way. How much He gave for us, to be in communion with us should we choose to accept Him! In loving Jesus and walking through with Him through His passion, be reminded of how desperately He wants you to be free....Free to love Him, to love your brothers and sisters, and to love yourself.
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is." ~ I John 3:1-2
