The Kiss of Jesus

   “Pain and suffering have come into your life, but remember pain, sorrow, suffering are but the kiss of Jesus - a sign that you have come so close to Him that He can kiss you." ~ Mother Teresa


       The first time I read this quote, I couldn't understand it. Suffering is purifying- yes. It leads us to the cross; it molds our character; it teaches us compassion. But experiencing "the kiss of Jesus"? Isn't that going a little too far?

       This past year has involved more suffering than all my other 21 years combined. I will not delve too deeply into the details because this post is not about me or my journey. Rather, it is about revelations given by Jesus and through the saints concerning suffering...revelations meant to encourage you in your trials, to remind you of the burning love of God for you, even in great pain, to give you a passion to suffer for and in love.

       Since February 2015, I have been horribly sick. I had to leave the school of my dreams because my health was so bad. Bedridden for a month, I had returned home, once again becoming completely dependent on my parents to provide and take care of me. But the most difficult part of the suffering was breaking up with my boyfriend of two years. My heart and my body were wrecked and there were days I honestly wished I wasn't alive. I was broken. I was bleeding. And I felt Jesus has abandoned me in the darkness.

      Because I believed Jesus had left me to suffer alone, I was too disheartened to pray. Did He not see me in pain? Did my health not matter to Him? How could He love me and yet take so much away? It was as if my life had been emptied of all the blessings and I was left with nothing but misery. Angry, feeling rejected and forgotten, I stayed in the darkness.

       Then, for a while, I accepted the strength to hope. I became filled with joy at the opportunity to enter into suffering with Jesus. Surely God was working in more ways than I could begin to imagine!

       But two weeks ago, I again fell into despair. And again, I avoided intimate time with Jesus because I felt abandoned by him. Finally, I broke out in tears of shame while driving to a doctor's appointment. Jesus, I am so sorry! I am a terrible lover. I have failed you! I have hurt you! How unfaithful I have been. I don't deserve you. I am so weak- I cannot be strong enough. I am being crushed, Jesus! Please bear the weight with me!

        Over and over again, I told Jesus I was sorry, worried that He was disappointed in me. How many times I had failed Him! And then He spoke....


       Jesus Speaks


       When Jesus spoke, there was no reprimand. No sternness. Only great love and tenderness.


"I love being your Savior."


Let those words permeate into your soul. Believe them.


       Jesus went on to reveal that although He struggles to see us fall, He loves to help us up. He loves being the one to save us, to set us free. You are not a burden to Him. Jesus loves saving you! He never tires of coming to your rescue! How His heart delights coming to the aid of one of His little ones.

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Suffering Leads us into Deeper Intimacy with Jesus


       Back to the quote from Mother Teresa about experiencing the "kiss of Jesus" in suffering.

       The most intimate relationships we have are with people with whom we have experienced the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. You know someone really loves you when they see you at your worst and love and accept you without hesitation. It is through those moments of pain that we see one another bare, broken, with everything stripped away. And what a treasure it is to see the beauty of another soul in its most vulnerable state!

       When we invite Jesus into our suffering, we allow him into our hearts in its most vulnerable state. He is the true friend, faithful lover who goes through the agony with us- fully understanding, even feeling our anguish, our pain. Through suffering, we cling to Him, completely aware of our weakness, of our inability to continue without Him. We hunger for His embrace, His consolation, His presence in our misery. We truly feel a need for Him. And when He holds us, when he tells us how precious we are to Him and how dear we are to His heart, we feel a closeness- an intimacy- with Him powerful beyond words. That closeness is like a kiss- powerful, involving an intimate act of love.

       Suffering makes us more dependent on Jesus. The experience of suffering with Him creates a powerful bond and intimate relationship. We taste of Jesus' compassion. We enter through trials with Him and we come out stronger than before we had them. There have been so many times during this period of suffering when all I have needed was for Jesus to hold me and tell me He loves me. And faithfully, He continues to be my comfort.


"If God sends you many sufferings, it is a sign that He has great plans for you and certainly wants to make you a saint." ~ St. Ignatius Loyola



       When we truly desire holiness, we learn to embrace suffering. God has answered so many of my prayers through the pain. He has made my heart more compassionate. He has taken away my "crutches" so that I have come to fully rely on Him.

       All of the saints endured suffering. Each saint and his/her capacity for suffering was different, but every one of them invited Jesus into their suffering. They saw suffering as an opportunity to grow in love, in virtue and they were able to persevere out of love for the Beloved and for the conversion of sinners. To them, suffering was an invitation to become more united with Christ and His Passion.

       I am not a saint. I cannot suffer perfectly. And I have learned to accept my weaknesses, my failures. Even though the journey has been agonizing, I have become so grateful for it! I have experienced the presence and love of Jesus more powerfully than ever before.


"Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances, give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18


       There have been many times when I have begged for Jesus to take away the pain. In tears, I have pleaded for an end. In His mercy, Jesus assures me that it will not last forever and that it will be over soon. But He also shows me that this is a time of great purification. He is answering prayers through this affliction; I am growing in virtue and in trust. Petitions are being granted through my intercession.


       Thank Jesus for your suffering. This is your path to sanctity! This is the crucifixion that will lead you into the resurrection! This is your calling to love! Right now, Jesus is loving you, calling you to Him, beckoning you into deeper holiness!

     I still have good days and bad days. I laugh. I cry. But through it all, I trust. I know and I believe our God is a God who loves His children and gives them good gifts. Sometimes we just don't recognize the blessings in the gifts because they are not what we expect.


       Brothers and sisters, know of my prayers for you- for grace, openness to the Holy Spirit, submissiveness to the will of our Heavenly Father. May Jesus bless and keep you and send His holy angels to protect you! May our Blessed Mother intercede for you and lead you ever deeper into the love of her Son!


Inspiring Quotes of the Saints on Suffering

"In the same way that a powerful medicine cures an illness, so illness itself is a medicine to cure passion. And there is much profit of soul in bearing illness quietly and giving thanks to God." - St. Amma Syncletice

"If only mortals would learn how great it is to possess divine grace, how beautiful, how noble, how precious. How many riches it hides within itself, how many joys and delights! No one would complain about his cross or about troubles that may happen to him, if he would come to know the scales on which they are weighed when they are distributed to men." - St. Rose of Lima

"Trials and tribulations offer us a chance to make reparation for our past faults and sins. On such occasions the Lord comes to us like a physician to heal the wounds left by our sins. Tribulation is the divine medicine." -St. Augustine of Hippo

"We are at Jesus' disposal. If he wants you to be sick in bed, if he wants you to proclaim His work in the street, if he wants you to clean the toilets all day, that's all right, everything is all right. We must say, 'I belong to you. You can do whatever you like.' And this ..is our strength, and this is the joy of the Lord." -
Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

"He who wants to win the world for Christ must have the courage to come in conflict with it." - Blessed Titus Brandsma

"Jesus who cannot suffer long to keep you in affliction will come to relieve and comfort you by infusing fresh courage into your soul." - St. Padre Pio of Pietrelcina

"The longer the trial to which God subjects you, the greater the goodness in comforting you during the time of trial and in the exaltation after the combat." - St. Padre Pio of Pietrelcina